Con-Fuse-d

silentnight draft

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 00:44:14 -0500

silentnight draft

Lyrics: When I was a kid, just a skinny kid We would summer at...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 22:43:00 -0500

Lyrics:

When I was a kid, just a skinny kid

We would summer at the shore

since I was afraid, I only would wade

to waist high and nothing more

never over my head, choosing instead

to see the bottom below,

I’m safe I’m sound,feet on the ground

no threat from the undertow

but one day this boy who was older

threw me over his sunburned shoulder

and to my suprise and my shock

tossed me off of the end of the dock and I swam

Fear replaced with a thrilling taste

I’d not soon forget

What a crime to waste more time and never get wet

So I vowed to the blue sky above

Next time I won’t need a shove

I’ll jump

When I was 16 barely just 16

My great uncle came to town

A gourmet of note

Researched and wrote

A cookbook of some reknown

There was page after page

Of saffron and sage

The spice of the life he had led

Tells of places he’d seen

Sampling cuisine

Would fill up my teenage head

So that day he made a suggestion

In the form of a simple question

Would I like to go sail the seas

Feast in trinidad

Buy in belize

I said yes

Suitcase packed

Yet still I lacked

The nerve to explore

Fear prevailed

The ships then sailed

And I stayed on shore

I’d forgotten the lesson once learned

next time if the chance returned

I’d jump

Better safe than sorry

Is no way to play the game

It’s rather sorry that safe leads to nothing but more

Of the same

So here I am now

This is me right now

Perched upon this hotel bed

My only desire

Is to somehow acquire

A blueprint for what’s ahead

I could keep my routine

A life that’s serene

With comforting guarantees

Or go out on a limb and take a swim

In deep and uncharted seas

It seems all my life has consisted

Of these days where I’ve just existed

So I’d like for the next move I make

To prove at least I’m awake

So I’ll jump

Fear ignored I would jump on board

And go for the ride

I’ll be strong

And if I’m wrong

At least I’ll have tried

Life is meant to be lived on the edge

This time I wont fear the ledge

I’ll jump

The worst thing you could do to an artist is to stifle their creativity

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 23:56:00 -0500

Freedom at last.

I think more than anything else, they wanted freedom to pursue their interests and reap their just rewards…And I don’t just mean monetary rewards.

Can you really blame them?

What Ifs...

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 04:14:12 -0400

A lot of people say what ifs are useless. I agree. But I think it’s in our nature to ask such questions - to consider options, to think things through even after the fact.

I have so many what ifs in my head right now when I should really be worrying about my midterm. But even the midterm is a what if.

Photo

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 00:32:24 -0400

"Who says you have to be great? Great like beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 15:07:53 -0400

“Who says you have to be great? Great like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Gummy - Orun Ai Lyrics (Adult Child)

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 22:32:00 -0500

I was trying to search for it but found none. So I searched in Korean and found a converter online :D

http://www.justsomelyrics.com/1803478/%EA%B1%B0%EB%AF%B8-%EC%96%B4%EB%A5%B8%EC%95%84%EC%9D%B4-Lyrics

http://www.thelapan.com/h2k/index.asp?pid=tr&sec=1

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
chakhan aicheoreom malman jal deureura haeseo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
sikineun daero haenneunde jakku jigyeowo hae

내가 봐도 나는 정말 쉬웠어
naega bwado naneun jeongmal swiwosseo
난 울다가도 사랑 주면 웃었어
nan uldagado sarang jumyeon useosseo
늘 나를 쉽게 다루는 건 막대사탕 같은 사랑
neul nareul swipge daruneun geon makdaesatang gateun sarang
향기 가득 배어있는 단물이
hyanggi gadeuk baeeoinneun danmuri
꼭 보기 좋게 물 들은 혀 끝이
kkok bogi joke mul deureun hyeo kkeuchi
나 혼자 가진 매력인 듯 착각 속에 빠졌지만
na honja gajin maeryeogin deut chakgak soge ppajyeotjiman

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
chakhan aicheoreom malman jal deureura haeseo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
sikineun daero haenneunde jakku jigyeowo hae
아무리 떼를 써도 차라리 토라져봐도
amuri ttereul sseodo charari torajyeobwado
남자가 주는 이별에 항상 울기만 해
namjaga juneun ibyeore hangsang ulgiman hae

호기심에 다가오던 사랑이
hogisime dagaodeon sarangi
내게 싫증 내고서 떠나도
naege sircheung naegoseo tteonado
아이같이 금방 잊고 다시 사랑 받길 원해
aigachi geumbang itgo dasi sarang batgil wonhae

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
chakhan aicheoreom malman jal deureura haeseo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
sikineun daero haenneunde jakku jigyeowo hae
아무리 떼를 써도 차라리 토라져봐도
amuri ttereul sseodo charari torajyeobwado
남자가 주는 이별에 항상 울기만 해
namjaga juneun ibyeore hangsang ulgiman hae

(남자들은 다) 난 믿지않아
(namjadeureun da) nan mitjianha
(언제나 아픈 사랑도) 더 하지 않아
(eonjena apeun sarangdo) deo haji anha
(매일 밤 혼잣말로만) 날 위로해도
(maeil bam honjatmalloman) nal wirohaedo
난 사랑 없이 못 사나 봐
nan sarang eobsi mot sana bwa

첫 사랑에 속고 또 다른 시작을 해도
cheot sarange sokgo tto dareun sijageul haedo
어느새 손을 놓은 채 모두 떠나가네
eoneusae soneul noheun chae modu tteonagane
한숨이 늘어가고 눈물이 나를 적셔도
hansumi neureogago nunmuri nareul jeoksyeodo
반복된 사랑놀이에 울고 웃네
banbokdoen sarangnorie ulgo utne

Romaja (Romanization • Transliteration)

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
ChagHan AICheoReom MarMan Jar DeurEuRa HaeSeo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
SiKiNeun DaeRo HaessNeunDe JaKku JiGyeoWo Hae

내가 봐도 나는 정말 쉬웠어
NaeGa BwaDo NaNeun JeongMar SwiWossEo
난 울다가도 사랑 주면 웃었어
Nan UrDaGaDo SaRang JuMyeon UsEossEo
늘 나를 쉽게 다루는 건 막대사탕 같은 사랑
Neur NaReur SwibGe DaRuNeun Geon MagDaeSaTang GatEun SaRang
향기 가득 배어있는 단물이
HyangGi GaDeug BaeEoIssNeun DanMurI
꼭 보기 좋게 물 들은 혀 끝이
Kkog BoGi JohGe Mur DeurEun Hyeo KkeutI
나 혼자 가진 매력인 듯 착각 속에 빠졌지만
Na HonJa GaJin MaeRyeogIn Deus ChagGag SogE PpaJyeossJiMan

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
ChagHan AICheoReom MarMan Jar DeurEuRa HaeSeo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
SiKiNeun DaeRo HaessNeunDe JaKku JiGyeoWo Hae
아무리 떼를 써도 차라리 토라져봐도
AMuRi TteReur SseoDo ChaRaRi ToRaJyeoBwaDo
남자가 주는 이별에 항상 울기만 해
NamJaGa JuNeun IByeorE HangSang UrGiMan Hae

호기심에 다가오던 사랑이
HoGiSimE DaGaODeon SaRangI
내게 싫증 내고서 떠나도
NaeGe SirhJeung NaeGoSeo TteoNaDo
아이같이 금방 잊고 다시 사랑 받길 원해
AIGatI GeumBang IjGo DaSi SaRang BadGir WonHae

착한 아이처럼 말만 잘 들으라 해서
ChagHan AICheoReom MarMan Jar DeurEuRa HaeSeo
시키는 대로 했는데 자꾸 지겨워 해
SiKiNeun DaeRo HaessNeunDe JaKku JiGyeoWo Hae
아무리 떼를 써도 차라리 토라져봐도
AMuRi TteReur SseoDo ChaRaRi ToRaJyeoBwaDo
남자가 주는 이별에 항상 울기만 해
NamJaGa JuNeun IByeorE HangSang UrGiMan Hae

(남자들은 다) 난 믿지않아
(NamJaDeurEun Da) Nan MidJiAnhA
(언제나 아픈 사랑도) 더 하지 않아
(EonJeNa APeun SaRangDo) Deo HaJi AnhA
(매일 밤 혼잣말로만) 날 위로해도
(MaeIr Bam HonJasMarRoMan) Nar WiRoHaeDo
난 사랑 없이 못 사나 봐
Nan SaRang EobsI Mos SaNa Bwa

첫 사랑에 속고 또 다른 시작을 해도
Cheos SaRangE SogGo Tto DaReun SiJagEur HaeDo
어느새 손을 놓은 채 모두 떠나가네
EoNeuSae SonEur NohEun Chae MoDu TteoNaGaNe
한숨이 늘어가고 눈물이 나를 적셔도
HanSumI NeurEoGaGo NunMurI NaReur JeogSyeoDo
반복된 사랑놀이에 울고 웃네
BanBogDoen SaRangNorIE UrGo UsNe

lovemacchiato: Christmas in Tokyo ✰

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:34:28 -0500

lovemacchiato:

Christmas in Tokyo ✰

fromeuropewithlove: Isle of Skye, Scotland

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:31:49 -0500

fromeuropewithlove:

Isle of Skye, Scotland

My Carol of the Bells

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 23:30:00 -0500

Child of the street
Warm up your feet
Come now don’t weep
Hope in the deep
Child of the street
Warm up your feet
Winter is growing cold

Child who’s asleep
Santa is here
Bringing good cheer
Hoping you’d share
Child who’s asleep
Wake from your bliss
Winter is growing cold

Child of the sand
Careful your hand
Look up the sky
Look how they fly
Child of the sand
Here is the band
Winter is growing cold

Seems like I’m never enough for you Every turn I take Ever move I make Is wasted Discarded...

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 23:26:44 -0500

Seems like I’m never enough for you

Every turn I take

Ever move I make

Is wasted

Discarded like some child’s play

unworthy of merit

unworthy of even the smallest glance

Why do you refuse to see

That I’m all grown up?

I can never just stand aside anymore

I still have my innocence but it’s torn

Between what’s good, what’s right and what’s divine

So forgive me if I decided

To finally grow up

I’ll see the world with my own eyes

I’ll make my own opinions

Decisions, unending illusions and more

I’ll take my life for a spin

And I’ll twirl it and twist it

Enjoy it till I fall down

Exhausted but satiated

Thanks for teaching me

Never failing, always leading

But I must say it messed me up

For now I’m trembling in fear

Of becoming substandard and imperfect

In your mind I’ll always be your ballerina

Clumsily twirling,

Cooking up fantasies

Of a feminine woman I can’t seem to be

A dolled up lady I refuse to be

senti

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 01:07:00 -0400

ako ay isinilang

sa isang bansang dukha

maraming mga tao

ang punong puno ng luha

hindi mapakain

hindi maiahon

mga supling kawawa

na iniwan magisa

wala ka nang pagasa

kaya lumilipad na lang

akala walang utang

akala walang hirap

ang bumati sayo’y kalungkutang

di ko mapatahan

babalik ka ba

ngayong ikay tumanda na

tila mas marunong

mas may dunong

mas may tapang

kaya mo bang harapin

ang naiwang suliranin

ang tinig ng yong puso

kaya mo bang pagaalabin

=============

they say i’m lucky i’m here

far from all those who fear

they say i’m blessed i’m here

a place where people don’t despair

but don’t you they see

the hurt the pain the sorrow

for people here

they wish they hope

there’s no more tomorrow

for it’s a cursed life they live

a life of solitary happiness

and what’s the use

if you have no one to fill your emptiness

they spend their whole lives

searching for the one

to keep the safe and warm

through the thunderstorms of their night.

what more could I ask for

I’m living at the top

Here I can see you

trying to reach the clouds

It would have been a perfect sight

but then I had to stop

for i realized

you’re happy where you are.

Prayer of St Francis. So what do you think of this version?...

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 00:27:33 -0400

Prayer of St Francis.

So what do you think of this version? Obviously, it has to be redone properly, but other than that what do you think?

Paramedics

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 03:02:17 -0400

Paramedics save your life. But, who will save them?

I had my first ambulance ride today accompanying my mom to the hospital after she fell. I saw first-hand the ‘torture’ paramedics to go through to do their job as discussed in some of my classes. One paramedic had to crouch while rolling the stretcher towards the ambulance. The same paramedic then continued to slouch as he worked on my mom in the ambulance. I swear he spent most of his time in a so-called “bad posture”. They do this for so long… It’s not wonder back injuries are so common in the field and this is an average day for them…

Worse case scenario?

A very heavy man being lifted from the ground. Hopefully, paramedics do it right and get power from their legs. But in the heat of the moment, people usually do what’s easy. I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority of paramedics bend down from the waist to lift the stetcher up.

My hat goes off to these unsung heroes. Good work paramedics!

Possibly the most hauntingly beautiful lullaby

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 23:19:28 -0400

Possibly the most hauntingly beautiful lullaby

Photo

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 20:10:48 -0400

book in 2 days

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 23:08:53 -0400

Finished a book about Psychology in 2 days…

sign that I like the subject?

sign that the book is good?

sign that it’s too short?

^_^

Taking it for granted

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 23:23:28 -0500

I think I’m taking for granted the blessing that I’ve received. The hardships that I’ve been through are mostly emotional and so I’ve never felt that desperation that comes with the lack of money or opportunities. Maybe that’s why I still can’t accept the change. I hate being this ungrateful, but I don’t know how to change. I can simply say I’m thankful, but they’ll be empty, or temporary.

I’m taking school for granted, which is why I most likely won’t be able to do my masters. I’m taking my language courses for granted, which is why I’ll never master them. Maybe it’s because the path I’m taking isn’t what I’m passionate about.

What am I passionate about?

I don’t know. Or maybe I don’t want to admit it. On a Saturday afternoon where I don’t have to do anything, I’d rather write HP stories, or cook or play music. Math and programming are just things I’m moderately good at.

How do people cope with living their lives, chasing for a dream that’s not theirs?

How?

Lost

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 18:37:58 -0500

I guess being lost is just part of life and that I should just accept the “challenge”. But I’ve never been lost before. I’ve always been good at directions. I’ve always been good at just continuing on the road I’ve been dealt with. This is the first time when I’ve been dealt with a heavily forked road.

Emergency Management, Healthcare Systems, Sustainability, Culinary Arts, Music or Education?

I’ve been asked what drives me, what motivates me, what inflames my heart as it bursts with the abundance of passion?

Honestly? I don’t know. I like many things but I don’t know what to choose. I am a walking paradox, both to the world and to me. I like and dislike the same thing for many reasons. I want and don’t want the same thing. What frustrates me is that HF is not even there! The things that I feel like I should do are not what I want? Or are they?

I’m in the wrong place and in the wrong time. I want to go back. To go back to when and where life was as simple as doing your part for the community. Now, it’s ever more complicated, requiring a masterful execution of the seemingly common practice of politics - an exercise in disguised amiability and diplomacy. Why disguised? Well, I have a problem with the nature of give and take. To me there’s just give without expecting a return (unless it’s w/ my family. They are, after all, family).

I miss intelligent conversations too. There may be a lot of potential intelligent conversations around me, but I’m just not comfy enough to engage in that kind of discussion.

I wish I had more confidence, self-esteem and self-respect. There, I’ve admitted it!

Someone wise once told me, to find your passion think of the answer to the question: On a Saturday where you have no duties to attend to, how would you spend it?

Music and reading seems to be the answer. But… ACK! I just really don’t know.

dissatisfied or just righteous

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:42:49 -0500

Lately, I feel like I’ve lost all capacity for patience. I’m so short with everything - complaining and criticizing. I’m never satisfied anymore.

On one hand it’s good that I’m finally not apathetic. But on the other, I just feel tired of everything. I’m tired of my inadequacy and of those around me. I’m tired of knowing something’s wrong but not being able to do something about it. I’m tired of abandoning things because I give up on them. I’m tired of being angry at some of my friends; granted, a part of me do think it’s their fault for taking advantage of our friendship… or for not doing their best … or for not treating our work professionally.

Is it because the engineering lessons of never being satisfied and constantly improving are finally sinking in? Or is it just that I’m just really becoming a bad person, incapable of being patient, of caring?

I don’t want to live under this shell anymore. I just don’t know how to break it… much less how to gather the courage to actually break it…